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Tips and Slang to help you date in English
How to Date Online Successfully
Nowadays, online dating is everywhere. You’ll see somebody swiping for matches on the bus or meet somebody who has met their significant other via an online dating app. That’s why you need slang and tips to date online successfully.
Whether you love the idea of online dating or not, it’s a huge part of modern society, and it’s quickly becoming a normal way to meet new friends and romantic partners.
This blog will cover common phrases and acronyms(1) associated with online dating, while covering some dating tips to help improve your odds of meeting that someone special. Check out our podcast episode #13 Swipe and Match by Ride the Vibes for even more on this topic.
Acronyms & Slang in the Online Dating World
A one-night stand is when two people meet (often when they are drunk) and end up sleeping together. However, they generally only spend one night together, and these two people will usually stop contacting each other after the next day.
Ex. Rachel got so drunk last night that she ended up having a one-night stand. The guy is still sleeping in her bed.
Hooking up implies(2) that someone just wants to have a physical or casual relationship. When you hook up with someone, you might spend a lot of time together, but there is also a physical relationship present.
Unlike a one-night stand, hooking up can last longer than just one night. You can keep hooking up with someone, but if the relationship becomes serious then it is no longer hooking up. Hooking up always signifies that the relationship is casual or just for fun.
Ex. Matt has been hooking up with Cindy for three weeks now.
DTF – Down to F**k
The phrase DTF is a phrase used when someone desires(3) a physical relationship and/or a sexual experience. If someone says DTF, they most likely want something less serious, such as a one night stand or a hookup.
Ex, Men keep messaging me on Tinder saying they are DTF.
DTR – Define the Relationship
People use DTR to try to figure out what kind of relationship someone is looking for. Since people are looking for different things—friends, one-night stands, serious relationships, and so on—it can be nice to know what someone is looking for before investing(4) a lot of time in that person.
Ex. I always ask my matches to DTR so I don’t waste my time.
Ghosting is when someone stops talking to you out of the blue(5). You’re having a great conversation and everything is going well. You might be having a conversation with Mr./Mrs. Right… then they are gone!
Ghosting is frustrating because someone seems interested and highly responsive(6), but then they just disappear. People might ghost someone when they text you too much, when they seem unstable, or when the conversation becomes stale.
Ex. I ghost girls all the time when the conversations get boring.
Breadcrumbing is a term used when somebody doesn’t have any romantic interest in someone else but still leads them on through seductive or flirtatious(7) texts in the hope that this other person remains interested. The goal may be to elicit a sexual encounter or to keep someone as a backup option.
Ex. Dillain has been breadcrumbing three girls just in case things don’t work out with Sally.
Five Tips to Be Successful With Online Dating
Build a Strong Profile
Building a profile requires you to add pictures as well as your gender and location. You also have the option to write more information about yourself.
First, let’s talk about the pictures. Be sure to add multiple pictures, that way you seem like a real person. This will allow people to get to know you better.
Secondly, don’t put pictures up without you in them (pictures of cats and dogs are the worst).
Lastly, make sure at least some of your pictures show your whole body, and try to make sure there is good lighting. Shadowy pictures tend to creep people out.
Writing some information about yourself is more important than you might think. People do read profiles, believe it or not. You can include who you are, what you like to do, what you want to get out of online dating, and some of your dating preferences. Adding detailed information instills(8) trust in other users who might come across your profile, and it makes you seem like a real person.
Try to Get Conversations off of Tinder ASAP
All dating apps come with their own chat interfaces(9). However, it’s best to try to get away from using these for too long. Why? For starters, talking to someone on another messaging/social media platform will inform you on whether or not they are a real person (Special podcast guest Cher recommends Instagram since it’s hard to have a fake Instagram account).
This will also show the other person that you are genuinely interested in them. People look at their messaging apps often, but not everyone will hop on an app like Tinder regularly. Getting off Tinder allows you a better opportunity to forge a deeper connection with this person and increases the likelihood that you will meet in real life.
Go in With Fewer Expectations
This is a personal tip of mine. Go into your dates more open-minded rather than looking for something specific (like a serious relationship). When we have too many expectations, we are quick to judge others, and it’s easier to end up disappointed.
Try to see online dating as a chance to widen your social circle. Even if a given match isn’t someone you are romantically compatible(10) with, they could be a good friend, someone who can help you in the business world, or just someone you can talk to about a mutual interest, and so on.
Just to be clear, lowering expectations doesn’t mean being apathetic. You should still try to treat the other person with respect and try to get to know them. After going on a date in real life, you can decide whether or not keeping contact is a viable option.
For the Girls: Politely Say No Rather Than Ghost
As a man, I understand that girls tend to get a lot more messages than guys. It’s just the way the world works. While guys certainly do ghost girls, I find it is often something that girls do more often. I assume it is because they have too many guys messaging them at once.
If you have an interesting conversation going but you get bored of it, politely tell that person that you found someone else or that you are too busy. It will sting, but it offers a sense of closure, and rejection is only temporary. Being ghosted is far worse because you are left with the question: “Why did she suddenly just stop messaging me?”
Try to reject someone politely if they’ve invested time and energy into you. It can take a little bit more effort, but this shift will make the online dating ecosystem a slightly healthier place.
For the Guys: Understand No Means No
Unfortunately, it’s just a fact that girls get way more unwanted dirty pictures, sexual harassment, and derogatory comments than men. Men’s sexual appetite is well documented, and it’s just a part of how men are biologically programmed.
That said, it is never okay to sexually harass anyone. If a girl says no, she means no, and if you’re a man, you need to accept this answer. If not, it could lead to sexual harassment and being on the wrong side of the law.
Even if the law doesn’t get involved, sending unwanted sexual pictures and not taking no for an answer is unacceptable. This behavior won’t get you what you want, and you will end up getting blocked by most of your matches. Just make sure to get consent before doing anything sexual; the online dating world will be that much safer and more tolerable for everyone if you do.
Online dating and its global impact | The Economist
1. acronym (n.)
Def. a word (such as NATO, radar, or laser) formed from the initial letter or letters of each of the successive parts or major parts of a compound term
Ex. ASAP is sometimes, but not always, spoken as an acronym.
2. imply (v.)
Def. to express indirectly
Ex. Her one-word answers implied that she wasn’t interested in chatting.
3. desire (v.)
Def. to long or hope for
Ex. He might have desired a serious relationship, but he messed that up when he went on a date with her best friend.
4. invest (v.)
Def. to involve or engage especially emotionally
Ex. I invested so much time into this girl, then she just ghosted me.
5. out of the blue (phr.)
Def. without warning; unexpectedly.
Ex. This package arrived out of the blue. I thought it got lost in the mail.
6. responsive (adj.)
Def. quick to respond or react appropriately or sympathetically
Ex. If you’re too responsive, people might think you have nothing else to do and that you’re desperate for a relationship.
7. flirtatious (adj.)
Def. inclined to flirt
Ex. My professor seems so flirtatious, but I know professors cannot date students.
8. instill (v.)
Def. to impart gradually
Ex. You need to instill trust in this dog by spending a lot of time with her and not making quick movements, since she was abused in the past.
9. interface (n.)
Def. the place at which independent and often unrelated systems meet and act on or communicate with each other
Ex. Tinder’s new interface allows for videos.
10. compatible (adj.)
Def. capable of existing together in harmony
Ex. We just aren’t compatible. I like to hike, and she hates exercise.
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